Finding Normal

Maizy Love

Hello my friends.  I am so, so grateful for your help, for your love, support and hand holding.  The surgery went so well and was much shorter than was expected, hallelujah!, what a blessing.  And the personal care that I received in the hospital from my caring friends was really quite magical.  I have the sweetest memories of all these loving faces approaching and descending, and soft words of love and encouragement swimming through the air as I floated in and out of consciousness.  Each loving presence came and went and I felt continually lifted, held in a protective embrace.  I feel so fortunate.

It has to be said, the hospital staff, for the most part, was invisible, inferior and in some cases downright uncaring.  Had I been on my own the experience would have been quite traumatic and very frightening.  That saddens me for the people that are alone.  Hospitals are no place to rest and recover, that is for sure..

Each day I am improving, my mouth becomes more of a friend to me, I am recovering some of my stamina and am on my way back to some sort of normal.  The fog has lifted and I’ve been going out for short excursions.  I am very grateful that from the outside I look so normal, just a slight upward pull on the left side of my lip that whispers the story of what goes on inside.  And my speech is slightly different, slower, taking more energy and awareness with pronouncing certain words.  The obturator (the word for the prosthetic I wear in my mouth that covers up  the seemingly enormous hole in my head) has been likened to having a horse bit in your mouth and I concur.  A very tight bit that is only taken out to clean periodically, which has been physically and emotionally difficult, but is becoming easier as I learn to accept it as my normal.

Thank you, thank you.  I love you.

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